"You can map your life through your favorite movies, and no two people's maps will be the same." - Mary Schmich

Monday, March 31, 2014

12 Movies That Would Have Been Better With An R-Rating


I think a valid argument could be made that the Motion Picture Association of America has, in many ways, diminished cinematic potential for the American film-maker. Destroyed it? No.  But when a movie has to adhere to stringent guidelines that alter the creative process of a film, something is lost. Imagine being a baker and only having Sweet-and-Low at your disposal, or being a mechanic and having your socket wrenches stolen. It leaves the artist with one less tool in his metaphorical tool belt, and changes the way his masterpiece must be created. Maybe that’s a bit of a stretch; after all, the use of violence, sex, and profanity are by no means the only elements of a film, but it’s undeniable that, when used appropriately and artistically, they can help create context, character, intensity, and believability. Many films have been made that land right on the cusp of greatness, and fall just barely short, largely due to parameters set by the films’ rating. They are by no means BAD films, but if allowed more artistic embellishment they could have been SPECTACULAR films. Therefore, I give you 15 Movies That Would Have Been Better With an R-Rating.

Pacific Rim

Easily the best big-budget blockbuster film of the summer of 2013, the only way to make this film better would have been to grant it the freedom of an R rating. The film is set in the 2020s, when Earth is at war with the Kaijus, colossal monsters which have emerged from an interdimensional portal on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. To combat the monsters, humanity unites to create the Jaegers: gigantic humanoid mecha, each controlled by at least two pilots, whose minds are joined by a neural bridge. The film boasts truly spectacular special effects and totally badass battle sequences spanning vast backdrops of ocean. While most films of this genre are cookie-cutter city-destroying monster movies, Pacific Rim breaks the mold by presenting a unique concept that can most aptly be described as Godzilla meets Star Wars…meets Transformers. With the freedom an R rating brings, Pacific Rim could have peppered in some grittier violence into the mix of already awesome action sequences, making the film that much more Herculean.

The Monuments Men

It’s hard to defend a film that was given poor reviews as consistently as The Monuments Men was. The less-than-favorable critical reception was likely due to how intensely boring the movie was at many parts, and its intense-boringness is most certainly due to the fact it’s a WWII-era war flick that has to work within the parameters of its PG-13 rating. The film follows an allied group tasked with finding and saving pieces of art and other culturally important items before their destruction by Hitler during World War II. While the premise isn’t that of your typical war film, it’s also lacking the elements that make most war films successful. The Monuments Men boasts almost no battle scenes or gritty war violence and eventually boils down to a film about old geezers wandering around the European countryside looking for stolen paintings. That being said, I think the film had enormous potential, and I don’t think its lack of success can entirely be blamed on George Clooney (director and star). Think Saving Private Ryan, Platoon, Glory, Last of the Mohicans. What makes them great? Their believability, authenticity, and integrity. How was this achieved? By creating a movie that accurately portrays the look, feel, and mood of its given conflict, and to do this almost assuredly requires the film to have an R rating, because unfortunately WWII-era Germany and the Jungles of Vietnam during 1965 weren’t exactly appropriate for children ages 15-and-under.

Accepted

Accepted is a 2006 comedy film directed by Steve Pink. The plot follows a group of high school graduates who create their own "college" after being rejected from the colleges to which they applied. While being raucously hilarious as-is, the film did a serious injustice to itself by having to adhere to its PG-13 parameters. With a style and subject matter reminiscent of Animal House and Van Wilder, this film boasts a pretty unique plot and isn’t just your typical college-set film filled with shenanigans and partying, as the previously-mentioned films are.  While the LOL’s are consistent throughout the movie, the freedom to make the film more true to the college experience would have made it all the more funny.

Pearl Harbor

Speaking of WWII-era war movies that had enormous potential and ended up being spectacularly terrible, remember Pearl Harbor? This version of the infamous attack was brought to you by Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer, and is a dramatic reimagining of The Blitz, Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor and the subsequent Doolittle Raid. The first major flaw of this project can probably be attributed to whoever had the idea of handing over creative control of a historically-significant war film to the creative geniuses behind Armageddon. The second major flaw was trying to make this film inside the guidelines of a PG-13 rating. As previously discussed with The Monuments Men, believability and authenticity are the key elements to a successful war film, and unfortunately that usually means blood and gritty war violence. If there was a third major flaw to this film, it was probably a script that consisted of 10% historical war-drama (as was advertised) and 90% laughable chick-flick.
   
Disturbia


Disturbia is a 2007 teen thriller slasher film that is partly inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window, directed by D. J. Caruso. Starring the now controversy-laden Shia LeBouf, this film hails from the era of his pre-douchebag status, back in the day before he sported a 5 o’clock shadow and an unwarranted sense of entitlement. Despite being in a class of usually B-list suspense movies, the artistic team behind Disturbia actually did a pretty good job. It’s interesting, sometimes funny, and often pretty scary. That being said, it’s apparent that the film had to operate in a way that made it appropriate for its intended teen audience. While it does keep you on the edge of your seat, it doesn’t sport any Cabin in the Woods-esque violence, Saw-esque gore, or Hitchcock-esque intensity that could have brought it from good to great.


Meet the Parents

Probably Ben Stillers biggest success of his filmography, Meet the Parents actually offers a masterclass in how to make a hilarious PG-13 comedy. However, that still doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t have been an even BETTER R-rated comedy. The film stars Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro and chronicles a series of unfortunate events that befall a good-hearted but hapless nurse while visiting his girlfriend's parents. As previously stated, this film is consistently hilarious even with its modest rating. The comedic chemistry between Stiller and DeNiro is palpable, and could most accurately be branded as “slapstick”. However, with a few dirtier jokes tossed into the mix, this films hilarity would certainly know no bounds.

John Q

Who remembers this movie? As expected, there aren’t many metaphorical raised hands. Despite being a well-crafted hostage thriller, this movie didn’t register as much more than a blip on the cinematic Richter scale. The film follows John Quincy Archibald (Denzel Washington), a father and husband whose son is diagnosed with an enlarged heart and then finds out he cannot receive a transplant because HMO insurance will not cover it; therefore, he decides to take a hospital full of patients hostage until the hospital puts his son's name on the recipient's list. Most critics and cinephiles attribute this movies lack of success to the blatant criticism of the healthcare system that lies at the core of its storyline. While this may be true, the PG-13 rating didn’t help matters much either. Unlike great hostage flicks like Dog Day Afternoon, Inside Man, and The Negotiator, John Q just wasn’t very convincing. A good hostage thriller will make you scared of the hostage taker and/or scared to be a hostage, and to do this requires the use of cinematic elements that would probably land the movie an R-rating (like the aforementioned great hostage movies have).  

Robin Hood

One of five pair-ups between Russell Crowe and legendary director Ridley Scott, Robin Hood tells the well-known story of archer-turned-outlaw Robin Longstride, who steals from the rich and gives to the needy. As with several other movies on this list, Robin Hood was an excellent film even with a PG-13 rating.  Despite its historical accuracy being sometimes questionable (most notably the last 30 minutes of muddled Magna Carta material), Robin Hood featured excellent acting performances by Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Addy, and the iconic Max von Sydow. The costumes and makeup are superb, the cinematography is top-notch, and the action is pretty intense. Give the film an R-rating however, and those action scenes and battle sequences would be more reminiscent of the other fantastic Crowe/Scott matchup Gladiator, and the film would climb up one more rung on the ladder of baddassery.

The Green Hornet

Another movie that’s hard to defend, The Green Hornet is widely considered to be one of the worst superhero flicks among the ranks of the past 15 years’ surge of Marvel and DC comic pictures (not to be confused with The Green Lantern, which earned similar critical scorn). Following the death of his father, Britt Reid (Seth Rogen), heir to his father's large company, teams up with his late dad's assistant Kato to become a masked crime fighting team. This film stands alone amongst its comic cohorts, however, in that it added an edge of reoccurring comic relief that you don’t find in Spiderman, Thor, and X-Men. Unfortunately, its attempts at humor (along with the oddball plot and relatively weak acting) fell flat, largely due to the films PG-13 rating. Give this movie  an R-rating, and pair that up with Rogen’s usual hilarious comedic styling’s, and this movie would have stood apart from other superhero movies as a funny, edgy comic book pillar that gave a fresh makeover to a widely-loved hero.

Empire Records

One of the most popular coming-of-age movies of the 80’s/90’s, Empire Records follows a group of record store employees over the course of one exceptional day. The employees of this independent music store try to fight off becoming a large chain, all while learning about each other. The film is pretty much unanimously-loved by all, and whose only debatable flaw might be its rating. The film does a pretty good job of showcasing the life of a teenager during the time period, but given the freedom of more immature sexual humor and obscenity, would it not be even MORE believable? No teenager censors themselves that much.

 The Great Debaters
Another Denzel Washington piece that, while being an all-around decent piece of cinema, didn’t quite live up to its potential, in large part to its PG-13 rating. A drama based on the true story of Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College Texas. In 1935, he inspired students to form the school's first debate team, which went on to challenge Harvard in the national championship. What makes this film great is that it proves an inspiring, emotional story based around a college debate team, something that’s usually complete void of inspiration or emotion. What made this film not so great was that it made almost no attempts at embracing the racially divided southern culture of the 1930’s. While it did highlight the segregation in the schools and public facilities, what was lacking was a showcase of the intense racial and social inequalities amongst the actual population. While illustrating this would surely necessitate the use of racial slurs and violence (likely giving it an R-rating) it would have propelled the film into the ranks of other period pieces that painted an accurate portrayal of black prejudice like Driving Miss Daisy, Malcom X, and Mississippi Burning.


Finding Forrester
This film being his second-to-last movie before his retirement (immediately followed by The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, which earned even less critical acclaim), I’m sure Sean Connery was hoping to go out with more of a bang. Finding Forrester tells the story of a black American teenager, Jamal Wallace, who is invited to attend a prestigious private high school. By chance, Jamal befriends a reclusive writer, William Forrester (Sean Connery), through whom he refines his natural talent for writing and comes to terms with his identity. We’re so used to immediately associating Sean Connery as the iconic James Bond that we often forget that he’s also capable of fantastic dramatic performances, and not just bedding Bond-girls and shooting at Oddjob. Few of his films prove this quite like Finding Forrester, in which he constructs a character that’s inspiring, towering, but ultimately flawed and scared. Given its PG-13 rating, however, the film lost the inner-city Brooklyn feel that would have rounded it out as a gritty, emotional drama that surely would have won more praise from audiences. Still a fantastic film, nonetheless.

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